Real Sweeney Todd Song Titles

cracks-open-cold-one

Prelude: The Ballad Of Sweeney Todd: Are you ready to get FUCKED UP?!?!?!??!?!

No Place Like London: Anthony is just trying to help

The Barber And His Wife: I have serious emotional baggage

The Worst Pies In London: This is why business is bad Ft. Popping pussies into pies

Poor Thing: Sob Story Set-Up

My Friends: Just to make sure you know he’s mentally unstable

The Ballad Of Sweeney Todd “Lift Your Razor High”: Are you ready to get FUCKED UP?!??!?!?!??!?!? Part 2

Green Finch And Linnet Bird: Symbolism

Ah, Miss: This again

Johanna: Anthony is precious

Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir: 12 year old roped into a scam and gets harrassed

The Contest: He may not be able to shave, but damn can he sing

The Ballad Of Sweeney Todd “Sweeney Pondered”: He’s gonna kill someone

Wait: Chill the fuck out for 2 seconds

The Ballad Of Sweeney Todd “His Hands Were Quick”: Someone died/is going to die

Johanna Mea Culpa: Maybe Sweeney is in the right

Kiss Me: I may not know who on earth you are but marrying you is better than marrying my adopted father whom is 40 years older than me

Ladies And Their Sensitivities: This barber will NOT kill you

Pretty Women: Anthony ruins yet another murder attempt

Epiphany: Me in middle school to be honest

A Little Priest: Giggling over puns and human pie

God, That’s Good:…..yikes

Johanna(Quartet): Poor girl just wants to not be married to her adopted father let her be

By The Sea: This would be cute if they weren’t killers

Wigmaker Sequence: I am a barber who ISN’T going to kill you

Not While I’m Around: It’s ok, crazy woman baking people into pies, I’ll protect you :) :) Ft. I love Toby

Parlor Songs: What a nice time, everyone’s singing

Final Sequence: YOU GOT FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finale: Fuck

the-kouchfort

Having heard the original while reading the libretto (nerdnerdnerdnerd), and having watched the best version (the 80′s version with Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Lovett), I can say these synopses are accurate as fuck.

Also HAHAHA love it!! This is so great. =D

Jun 27 2018 229 notes Source

toksyna-w-arterii

b&w edit

Jun 27 2018 24 notes Source

date-a-jew-suggestions

If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I don’t fucking trust you

prismatic-bell

A note:

I live in a state where you “have to” report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:

Assume everyone who doesn’t speak English is visiting.

Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know they’re not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. That’s terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborers’ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I can’t afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes it’s not even about “affording” them. They say they’ve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isn’t your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you don’t recall–you meet a lot of people.

And then, if you’re asked: no, you haven’t seen anyone residing illegally in the United States. Just people visiting.

date-a-jew-suggestions

Very good very important addition

Jun 27 2018 63,328 notes Source Source

avannteth

@posia‘s Sariella and my gal Melody for Pride Month. :) It’s an official ship and has been for a while. I hope I get to share their adventures with you guys some day!